The First Symptom
I'm 55 years old, and, if you're not yet there, you might appreciate a gentle warning about the symptoms that commonly develop at this particular age. If you've already reached this cataclysmic era, then perhaps you'll find comfort in the knowledge that a) you're not alone, and/or b) you're wearing better than I am.
As you approach 55, you start to notice yourself, and you may feel compelled to question your motives. It can come as a surprise when you begin to catch lucid glimpses of the person you've been living as. As 55 year-old Jim Carrey recently said:
"We spend our life running around looking for anchors. 'Oh, I’m Italian, that’s who I am.' The fact is you don’t exist. You’re nothing but ideas. We take all those ideas and cobble them together and make sort of a personality charm bracelet, an ID bracelet we wear in life. But that’s not who we are, because we’re nothing."
Hearing this at the age of 55 is not depressing, it's a relief! His is not a totally nihilistic take on the concept of the id, it's a recognition of the freedom to just be. He's right, we do wear a 'personality charm bracelet' that represents the person we present to the world. We start out with just the clasp; the bit that holds us together. As we move through experiences, certain charms may appeal to us: the book lover, the lover, the vegetarian, the Italian, the cyclist, the abstract painter, the philosopher, the millionaire, the celebrity, the early riser, the Green Day fan, the Gucci-wearer, the ornithologist, the porcelain penguin collector.
There are very many charms available, in fact, the range is limitless; we may shape our bracelet as we please. And you know (yes, you can see it now within the folds of this metaphor) that others who think they know you will want to shape you too by adding to the growing number of charms you've collected...
You keep adding charms until the bracelet itself can no longer be seen; not even by you. And it's quite possible, that at some point in your life, the clasp will break, and the charms will fall off, leaving you charmless.
Standing, charmless, at the age of 55, looking at yourself filter-free, is okay. It's a new adventure.
As you approach 55, you start to notice yourself, and you may feel compelled to question your motives. It can come as a surprise when you begin to catch lucid glimpses of the person you've been living as. As 55 year-old Jim Carrey recently said:
"We spend our life running around looking for anchors. 'Oh, I’m Italian, that’s who I am.' The fact is you don’t exist. You’re nothing but ideas. We take all those ideas and cobble them together and make sort of a personality charm bracelet, an ID bracelet we wear in life. But that’s not who we are, because we’re nothing."
Hearing this at the age of 55 is not depressing, it's a relief! His is not a totally nihilistic take on the concept of the id, it's a recognition of the freedom to just be. He's right, we do wear a 'personality charm bracelet' that represents the person we present to the world. We start out with just the clasp; the bit that holds us together. As we move through experiences, certain charms may appeal to us: the book lover, the lover, the vegetarian, the Italian, the cyclist, the abstract painter, the philosopher, the millionaire, the celebrity, the early riser, the Green Day fan, the Gucci-wearer, the ornithologist, the porcelain penguin collector.
There are very many charms available, in fact, the range is limitless; we may shape our bracelet as we please. And you know (yes, you can see it now within the folds of this metaphor) that others who think they know you will want to shape you too by adding to the growing number of charms you've collected...
You keep adding charms until the bracelet itself can no longer be seen; not even by you. And it's quite possible, that at some point in your life, the clasp will break, and the charms will fall off, leaving you charmless.
Standing, charmless, at the age of 55, looking at yourself filter-free, is okay. It's a new adventure.
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